The Trans Women's Anti-Violence Project

Chrishaun “CeCe” McDonald is a young African American trans woman currently being charged with two counts second degree murder following an incident on June 5th, 2011. Her case has drawn international attention and sparked a groundswell of community support. CeCe spoke to PrettyQueer on December 12th.

To find out more about the case and learn how you can help visit: Support CeCe and FreeCeCe McDonald on facebook.

You can also sign the petition to free her.

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Tom: What has really stunned me about your story is the community support. It seems like people all over the country are paying attention to the case.

CeCe: Yes.

Tom: And I was wondering is that something that you feel is true from where you’re sitting? Do you feel that you‘re getting a lot of support and attention?

CeCe: Yes, actually I was just talking to some friends yesterday about having this opportunity. Because a lot of people, especially in the African-American community, tend to just take what is given to them when it comes to situations that put you in a predicament where you can’t, you know, think and actually consider things. You know what I’m saying? You’re pressured in jail. Jail will make somebody say, you know, “Whatever, just get me out of here.”
So for me to have this opportunity and to get all this support and to have all this media all this media attention around the case, is an eye opener. Not just for the people who are – who might not understand you know the process of court and the judicial system and might not understand how we as LGBT people seem to always get the short end of the stick.

So all this support we have now, not just from the LGBT community, but also the Straight community and, you know, everybody now can have some understanding of the issues that Trans people face and that Gay people face. You know, how we are always singled out or just left with the worse possible decision from the pressure of jail. A lot of people don’t really hear about that or they just brush it off. You know what I am saying? like, “Oh! It is another queer person, whatever.” But it’s deeper than that because I am a person, too.
I feel like this opportunity gives me a voice and not just a voice for myself but for all the people who’ve been through this.

Tom: Well, that’s the amazing thing. Your story, the actual events, unfortunately it felt like another kind of tick-mark on the box.

CeCe: Yes

Tom: So that’s why it has been so amazing to me to watch, because it’s been so well covered and so well documented. It seems like you have a huge network of people who are helping. Why do you think your case was different? What’s different about you?

CeCe: Because I had people in my life from the beginning that felt that the situation couldn’t just go by without anything being said or without a fair trial. Because, like I said, many times when you are in jail, specifically with GLBT people, we tend to just take the deal that is given us. Do you know what I’m saying?

Tom: Yeah.

CeCe: And a lot people don’t have time to think it over and consider the consequence or the alternative. So the people in my life, they – from knowing me from moving up here and knowing my story, knowing my history, they felt that this was worth the fight. I’ve come so far in my life. Just to know that I might be going through this, but there are people behind me and that I do have options and that I don’t have to take what is given to me. I am glad that I have that I have all these people in my life because at the moment when that happened I felt lost. I didn’t know what to do and I was just a wreck. Luckily I had those people there to piece me back together and to give me strength and tell me how to handle this situation.

Tom: So who were these people? Can you name names, like just the two or three most important people who changed the circumstance for you?

CeCe: One person, of course, was a case manger of mine. Her name is Abbey Beasley and she used to work at a non-profit organization called SafeZone. I used to go there when I was younger to, you know, get on my feet and look for school and for work and she was my permanent manager until the time when I was too old to have a case manager and be there. But she stayed in my life afterwards and our friendship and our connection grew so much closer. So, you know, when she heard the story, she got everyone involved.

Tom: That’s amazing. So that’s someone who had previously been a service provider and then became a friend. Are there other friends that are just people you know from, like, your social life that have been people who have been really active in it? Where was your network of support, where‘d that come from?

CeCe: My support came mainly from my family.

Tom: Your family?

CeCe: Yes, mainly from my mom. She doesn’t live in the state, all my family stays in Chicago, but I keep in contact with my mom. And they were the people who gave me the inspiration to keep pushing and keep fighting, you know, keep faith and just stay focused.

I am most definitely glad that I have such a wide variety of people in my life right now that’s supporting me, not just my family, but the organizations and the support from people at other states. It gives me the motivation and the inspiration to, you know, have a voice and to fight. I can be the voice for a lot of people right now and that’s my main objective. I want people to understand that this is an issue and that, you know, our society needs to change so that everyone can live freely and happily. Everyone has their own life to live and I’m just trying to live mine just like everybody else, you know?

Tom: Yeah, of course. So, I was surprised that you wrote a letter to the local newspaper from jail.

CeCe: Yeah.

Tom: How did you decide to do that?

CeCe: Well, I wrote the letter in an effort to challenge the tone of things as far as my persona and how I wanted people to view me. When this first happened I didn’t really have access to the news. I was in seclusion, there was no TV in the unit where I was. I was basically in “the hole.” They said it was for personal protection, but I doubt that.

Tom: Right.

CeCe: I didn’t have access to newspapers. So any media that was surrounding the situation — I would call people and they would say to me like, “yeah they referred for you as a man and they’re just making you seem like a bad person,” and I didn’t want people to think that’s who I really was.

So, in an effort to give people a clearer understanding of who I am and what happened. I didn’t want people to think that I was some delinquent, you know? I’m a college student. I have so many aspirations and things that I want to do in my life. I volunteer when I can. I do a lot of stuff involving the community. I help my family in any way possible. I try to be the best person I can. I’m not going to say that I’m the best person. But, you know, everybody has a learning process.

I can say that the person that I am now is not the person they were showing in the media. You know what I am saying? It was hurting me. I didn’t want people to see me out on the street and turn their noses up at me because they had this idea of me that the media had made. It would be different if I was like, “oh yeah, I‘m an evil person.” But I’m not like that, you know? And that’s how they were making it seem.

Tom: Did you talk to your attorney before you wrote the letter?

CeCe: At that time I didn’t have an attorney.

Tom: Wow, okay. So did you consult with someone and say, you know, “do you think this is a good idea?” What was your decision making process around that?

CeCe: At the time I really didn’t think about any of that. Maybe I should have, but when you’re in a situation where you’re pressured and you’re feeling lost and confused, when someone is slandering your name and you feel like you don’t have a fair say, you’re going to find a way to get your point across. So, maybe if I had someone at the time to tell me, you know, “you should do this and that,” it would have been different. But at the time I didn’t have none of that.

Tom: So, you said at the time you didn’t have an attorney. Do you have one now?

CeCe: Yes, I have one now.

Tom: Where did that attorney come from?

CeCe: Someone referred him to me. He’s a member at the Legal Rights Center and he is an awesome lawyer. He does his best, he keeps in touch when he can, he’s been great. He handles a lot of cases other than mine, but his efforts are so wonderful. He has faith in everything. That’s the difference between having an actual attorney that’s going to check in with you and give you updates and a public defender, which is somebody that is just given to you, you know? You meet them or you don’t meet them. You are just a number to them and I don’t want to be just a number. I wanted someone be on top of my case, I wanted someone to be really cautious and concerned and very attentive.

So, I am glad now that I have an attorney. He has given me so much education on law and the justice system and just so much. So, yeah, he’s a very cool lawyer. He’s not uppity like most people think a lawyer would be. He’s laid back, he’s cool.

Tom: So you feel like you’re being treated with respect by him and he understands the case well and everything?

CeCe: Oh, most definitely! We have an understanding. He doesn’t put pressure on me. He gives me time to think and consider things and he goes over things with me so I can have a better understanding to make my decisions.

Tom: That’s great. Is he working pro bono, are you guys fund-raising to pay lawyer fees?

CeCe: Yes, actually all the attorneys at the Legal Rights Center are pro bono.

Tom: That’s great.

CeCe: Yes, and I feel like that’s also a blessing because when you’re struggling you still have bills to pay. I don’t know the last time I ever had over 25 cents in the bank account. So, yeah, this is a blessing. If you have a public defender, you are just considered a number and if you have a real attorney you‘ve got to have some digits, you know what I‘m saying? So this is good because I didn’t get just any attorney and he is very – oh! He’s just wonderful.

Tom: That’s great. That’s really great. I know you said you’re a college student, so what are you doing in college?

CeCe: I go to Minneapolis Community and Technical College, and I – my major was apparel technologies, which is a fancy term for fashion design. I’ve been in love with  fashion since I was younger and it’s something that I want to turn into a career.

Tom: So what do you do when you are not being a college student? What do you like for fun or socially or whatever?

CeCe: Well, I’m kind of a home body. I like to read, I like to study and do research. Like I said, I like to volunteer when I can.

Tom: Where do you volunteer?

CeCe: Well, going back to SafeZone, where I used to go. I help some of the team there with job searches, looking for housing, you know, talk about future plans, talk as a regular person who‘s been through it, too. Before this happened I joined a church in Voda Valley, the Unity Church, which is LGBT friendly and I was starting to do more volunteer work through them.

Tom: So, I know a lot of people are probably wondering what the can do. What can people who want to help you do?

CeCe: One thing you can do is go to the Support CeCe website. There’s a list of events there. A lot of these events are dealing with white supremacy, LGBT rights and just so much that’s concerning this case. Not even just this case, but you know, our wellbeing and our justice and how we are treated and in our communities and in society.

Other than that, the love and the support is all that I need. I never imagined that I would be in this situation. You know, I’m a very strong person, I’ve been through a lot in my life and right now I‘m not giving up faith. With the support and the love from my family and the support of the rallies, the organizers, everything is positive. If you can show that you do care or that you are concerned, that would be great. If you can make it to the events, if you can just tell a friend, tell someone, tell your next door neighbor. All of that helps, all of that counts.

Tom: I don’t want to sound cliché and you probably get this a lot but you are so positive and you are so strong, how do you do it? What keeps you going, what do you think it is that makes you so different?

CeCe: Growing up trans, you know, it’s harder for you, it’s obvious that being trans is harder. I grew up in the urban community, I grew up on the south side of Chicago, and it’s not easy. It’s not easy at all, you know, to be yourself without getting harassed. I’ve actually been jumped a lot in my life and I always blamed myself for that. I always said it was my fault for being gay, it was my fault I was trans. I became suicidal and, you know, attempted it but never succeeded.

I’ve been through a lot in my life that made me suicidal and so depressed. But, I had a couple of eye-openers that made me realize that I am loved and that I have a life and I’m a human too and that I can do anything a straight person can do if they allow me. So that’s what makes me so positive, not only for myself but also for the people around me. If you break that cycle being bad or being down or being depressed, you know, you can change your life.

Tom: So, I know that you’re saying people can show up to events and that’s awesome and obviously, people who are local should do that. If people aren’t local to Minneapolis, what can they do to help? Do they send money, do they send letters? What is it that’s going to make the biggest difference in your life?

CeCe: Well, as far as finances and things like that, the people who are in charge of the Support CeCe funds are still taking donations for the cost of events and, you know, organizing stuff.

Tom: People who want to give money to you for like living expenses, they can send money through that, and you are getting cash through that?

CeCe: Yes.

Tom: Okay, that’s great, that’s really great. You know, I’m out of questions. Red do you have questions?

Red Durkin: I had one question. You had mentioned before that people go through this all the time and it doesn’t get the kind of attention that your case has gotten. Is that something you may be planning to focus on in the future? Are you more interested in just getting your life back on track, going to school, working on your fashion design, or is this something that’s really changed your plans?

CeCe: That’s actually a good question because I’ve been discussing this with a lot of people. Yes, I’ll still be into my fashion design, but now, with everything going on maybe also taking communications in schools and being more active in the community and being some type of advocate. Just being more into the community. We need more people that are aware and involved and concerned and I am now one of those people. I always – like I said, we always you know, get the short end of the stick. Now with this situation, I’m experiencing it first hand. So, yes, when all of this over and God willing, it will be over soon, I will be more involved in community. Yeah.

Red Durkin: Absolutely, that’s great. I wish you the very best, I can’t wait to see you have the opportunity to make those things happen.

Tom: I can’t wait till we’re buying all your fashion designs at Macy’s.

[Laughter]

CeCe: Okay! Thank you.